Round is a Shape part deux

Today is round 2 of the class that is going to kill me or get me ready for summer. Today I went for a less cute approach and opted for a pair of my grandfather’s shorts and a Cleveland Clinic Hospital T-shirt. This way they will know where to take me when I pass out.

I arrive early as usual and Hannah greets me at the door. We walk down the hall to this little room. I would say it is the size of my living room and dinning room combined. There are a couple of people playing ping pong and a couple of kids hanging around. So we grab our steps and Hannah starts to set them up in that room. I’m looking a little confused and she must notice because she says we’ll be in here today. What. In. The. Hell? Monday there were quite a few people, there is no way all of us are going to fit in here. But hey, what do I know.

We sat at the door and watched a couple of other people come in. Everyone is sitting around the perimeter of the room and I swear if I threw a rock I would hit everyone at least twice. While I’m thinking about it, let me ass a PSA. PSA ~ Ladies, if when you lean forward and your shorts turn into a thong, please, please, please for the sake of everyone else, DON’T.

This little room is packed. I mean we are squeezed in so close I know somebody is going home with a black eye and people are still arriving. Hannah and I are sitting there talking about how it feels good to be in a class where there are other women that look like us. Thick, some larger and some smaller. It’s really nice not to have a complex about weight. Then all of a sudden this chick walks in and all eyes are on her. I swear if looks could kill she would have been dead 7 times over. Seriously she must be a size 2 why is she in here with us. We all started out pumped and ready to go; now you got half of us depressed and wanting ice cream and brownies. I don’t like her already.

About 6:30 the instructor strolls in. And as he walks past Hannah give him a copy of the blog I wrote. Damn her. She put me on blast. He’s gonna know I wrote it. He walks over and turns the music on. And everyone goes over to their steps. And he starts calling out things. And for whatever reason, half the class is off beat. Good now I don’t feel like the only white girl with a good tan. And he sure did start calling us off beat people out.

So he changes the song. This time I am determined to keep up. And I was doing pretty good until I got hit with a flying drop of sweat. EEEWWWWW. The chick in front of me looked like she was doing this under water. I’m disgusted. I’m ready to go home. But I can’t. I try hard to refocus myself and stay out sweat range. So the instructor is walking about trying to make sure that everyone stays on beat and is doing the right moves. So he hops in front of me and starts to do the step. He got me talking to the back of his head telling him to move or face his demise. So now guess who’s off beat. Yeah score one for me! Not a good idea to stand around me when I’m throwing up knees and throwing punches.

He later goes back to the front of the room and picks on someone else. Things are going great until we get back to the punches. The then yells out ‘Is that how you fight?’ and he’s looking in my direction. So I turn to see who he’s talking to and he says me. So I had to let him know, I got a 38 that fights for me. I don’t intend on getting hit back. I don’t think he liked that comment cause he start to call all kinds of steps. Stuff I couldn’t catch on to with the exception of the V Step.

I don’t know where he got the cheerleader from but she almost got cussed out. Talking about don’t stop. My heart just gave up on me. I have to stop to make it start again. I doubt she can do heart compressions. Good thing I did wear my Cleveland Clinic shirt. I hope Hannah remembered what I told her on Monday. Maybe I need to write it on my arm in marker just in case. I would have said something to her but I was gasping for air. Somebody needed to open a door. There is no way you should have that many people in one room without ventilation. Women sweat and get funky too.

Overall, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the first class. And this morning when I put my pants on I was able to button them too. So I guess all that sweating, crunching, squatting, and stepping is good for something other than making me hurt.